apa hanya aku disini yang sering berpikir tentang apakah aku terlalu "clingy" terhadap pacarku. like yesterday, aku nunggu dari jam 11 malam sampai jam 2 pagi karena hp dia ada ku whatsapp tp tidak dijawab, di call malah di reject 3 kali, dan saat di whatsapp lagi eh cuma satu centang. aku jadi ga bisa tidur dan mikir tentang apa salahku, dan saat tidak ketemu ya akhirnya aku menyerah dan tidur. tapi aku ada call dia berkali2 buat test saja hpnya nyala atau tidak dan aku dapat adalah "nomor ini sedang sibuk" lagi dan lagi. atau seperti saat dimana dia tiba2 bilang "si chicil (nama cewe yg suka sama dia dl) cantik juga ya setelah dilihat2", dan aku ya ketawa saja dan bilang haha iya dia emang cantik kok, padahal mah behh, sakit banget, apa lagi pas aku liat di group dia ada bilang "ciee chicil yang ganti status instagram " dan ya chicil jawab with something along the ine of "ciee yang peratiin instagram chicill " beh aku pas liat itu langsung jealous and pissed banget, aku quit group dan langsung di tnyain kenapa, ya aku bilang saja gapapa, udah ga main game itu lagi haha. aku sih jadi mikir aja, ini apa akunya yg terlalu gajelas atau apa ya. wajar ga sih jealous hanya karena hal seperti itu? ===English content=== I got tired of trying to write in bahasa as i can barely write a proper bahasa paragraph without adding some english in it. so basically, i guess i have a really bad case of self loathing or something and I just tend to blame my self for a bunch of things which causes me to break down inside over time. my boy friend is one of those guys that a lot of girls chase for cuz of looks, i mean not only do girls get crushes on him but guys as well, so double the competition, yay... ;-; I mean I've seen gay guys trying to flirt with my boyfriend when we're just walking down the street, or when I check his phone and there are just a bunch of spams on girls and guys that wanna ask him out for a movie or dinner date. so i end up just worrying too much over what if he leaves one day and all that, i mean holy damn the girls that ask him out are hot and so gorgeous and talented, i mean his one and only ex goes to national kendo competitions and all that, she cute as well. and then there's me the couch potato that has nothing to offer to him. don't have both the looks and talent, so that crushes me even more. oh and we are on a long distance relationship as well so yay to a higher risk of breaking up now that i've spent most of my nights talking to myself and ranting on a random forum, I shall go back to doing my papers. thoughts and advices would be much appreciated, thank you.
biasa aja jangan baper sebelum kamu dilamar atau dia diambil orang lain '_' tp gpp ikhlasin krn jodoh sudah ada yang mengatur
