This matter already ended like few weeks ago but, I just want to share to other people anonymously because even it was already ended but I'm alone cannot handle it, I need somebody to talk to but I have none to trust. I've been quiet for so long though. This story is quite short, I don't know why this should went so fast, or maybe it is normal (I don't know). It was started 4 months ago, when I work at a bookstore as a sales assistant. At that time I was already like 2 months working there, and then there was a new girl started working there, her position was exactly the same as mine, and let's name her Mia (not real name). I never had an experience when it comes to 'relationship' , 'love' or 'romance' things, so I'm not sure if it is normal for us to really fall in love in a first sight.. and then being in a relationship about few days after that and then break up about 2 months after that.. Is it normal guys? or maybe I was bewitched with somekind of black magic? lol, I don't know! please let me know your opinion about that.. I was really kind to her (well, I was kind to everyone), I was always back her up whenever our boss mad at her (as a work mate I guess I should do that), everything that I do was to cheer everyone up, I even treat all my workmates foods and drinks whenever I have a lot of change. So basically I was kind to everyone. That attitude of minds attracted her, and makes her fall in love with me, but coincidentally I also feels the same to her. She did said to me that she did love me, she admited that it was started since the first day we met. She said she was hesitated to tell me all of that because she afraid that it'll ruin my careers. But to me, I've been all alone for 21 years (I mean no gf , I do have parents and siblings lol) so yeah, I told her I love her to overcome her hesitation and yeah it really worked. When it comes to love, I think it is not something that I should play with, when I make someone become my gf, I must aim for really to marry her. After a month with her, I decided to ask my parents to get their opinion. Guess what? I didn't only get their opinion, but they disapprove our relationship. They want a break up. They have a feeling that I'll end up hurt if I continue. But I keep disagreeing with my parents, its been so long until they decided to hide my car's key. Well it can't be helped, I can't go to my workplace anymore lol. At that time I was just crying in my room alone. "Why does this happened to me?" "It hurts so bad" "I really love her" "I can't just simply leave the one that I love most". I have to quit my job because of this, I really became depressed, that was the only moment that I feel no one cares about me, my parents? the only thing that they wants from is a break up! and get a new job. but they never help about how to handle those things. How about my siblings? well, my big brother never listen to this kind of story, and the rest of my sibling were just too young for this. I almost took a step to kill my self (by jumping from the 2nd floor of my house, and aim for head lands first). But my belief really saved me, I'm a muslim, in our holy book, chapter 12 sentence 87, chapter 15 sentence 56, and chapter 4 sentence 29 stated about prohibition of suicide. Those sentences really inspired me a lot. I decided instead of giving up my life, what I did was to think, what exactly my mom was really meant when she said "You'll end up hurt if you continue". So I investigated quietly, I get my brother's permission to use on of his car, and I went to my work place, and parked just at a right spot so she didn't notice me. After a while I noticed a car just passed by and parked near to the bookstore, and I know that guy, that person was the one that always came to the bookstore.(A weird thing about this was whenever that guy came, Mia always keep herself away from me). Mia went into that car and then they started moving, so I followed them from behind until they arrived at a place to eat, and they are so sweet omg, it was so lovely ha ha. Meanwhile in the previous night, Mia said said she loves me, missed me a lot. (she didn't know about my situation afterall) Finally I understand what does my mom really mean, that was amazing, she seems to know a lot about everything, but well mom always right hahaha. At that night, I call her to say goodbye. That's the end of the story. I'm actually stubborn, and hard-hearted kind of a person, I just don't fall in love easily. I'm 21 and I never in love with someone before, I was always have in my mindset to think about academic and my careers. but I don't why I fell for her. And one more thing. She said that, the guy that she date with was just her bestfriend. I was a student counselor when I was in high school, I've heard a lot of people stories that includes love and that "best friend" thing is just a common term that people use for excuses. Everything is already ended, but the problem right now is, I couldn't trust anymore if someone admit she loves me. Congratulation for reading until this line ___________... Thank you very much for having time with me, I spent almost 1 hour writing this, I didn't check my grammar and spelling mistake, but I don't think that would be a problem hehee.. Please share your opinion guys )
Mia itu cuma 'oknum', cewe macem dia emang bakal selalu ada, entah dia begitu karena labil, atau terbawa keadaan karena merasa merasa tertekan di tempat kerja yg baru sehingga butuh teman pendamping, atau mungkin juga dia dengan sengaja lagi ngumpulin 'fans'. Jangan jadikan kegagalan di pengalaman pertama ini sebagai indikator bahwa kamu itu 'disihir' atau 'dikutuk'... haha.. sifat kamu yg keras kepala dan ngga gampang jatuh cinta itu lagi di uji... lain kali cari dan kumpulin informasi yg cukup tentang hal2 yg kamu kehendaki.. baik itu usaha sendiri atau dari orang yg lebih berpengalaman, sehingga kamu akan lebih bisa me'manage' sifat kamu itu. Sisi baiknya... kamu dapet pengalaman 'badai percintaan' yg cukup singkat, badai sudah berlalu... sadarilah, yang perlu kamu lakukan adalah perbaiki kerusakan2, menambah persiapan.. perbekalan, dan lanjutkan perjalanan.
My man said to me "Don't trust anyone" But.... when he came to my life , he realise that he loves me more than he loves his ex So... maybe you feel so lonely now ( I mean about love, course ) but its doesn't matter . You just wait for the right time to find another girl and another love story too Come on, dude Life is so beautiful if you want it to be beautiful, keep your heart strong and listen the music, sing and wish your soul power back again
Mungkin belum jodoh Yang pertama ortu ngga setuju, terus setelah itu tuhan menunjukkannya padamu, bahwa dia bukan orang yg tepat untukmu saat ini. Seperti lagu, "BENAR KATA MAMA, BENAR KATA PAPA, kau buatku kecewa . . . Dan semua orang pasti pernah mengalami patah hati .. kamu ngga sendiri . . .
good decision. just walking away and leaving about mia and stuffs behind. masalah kepercayaan nanti bakal sembuh sendiri biasanya. dan bakal timbul insting mana yg bisa dipercaya dan mana yang engga.
While it’s normal to feel disappointed, exaggerated response make people even harder to get over traumas they experienced. It will eventually lead to unwanted emotional disorder, as in your case, difficulty in trusting others. I hope since she was your first girlfriend, you probably only didn’t know how to react when reality doesn’t meet your expectation. My advice is to learn how to control your emotion. Avoid drama by reacting less impulsive when dealing with both good and bad situation. Less drama means less stress, and less stress means wider perspective for healthy outlets. Every life event creates different amount of negative or positive energy, but when it’s too overwhelming, we tend to lose sight and miss the best option to take. There's nothing wrong to put more effort in your relationship but people don’t always think the way you do. That’s the purpose of dating, to understand someone you love and yourself beyond friendship. That's why it's premature to think that relationship like yours will lead to marriage. Probably this is why you parents freaked out in the first place. About your trust issue, you can always learn to believe in others if you are willing to. We can't fully function in this world without building trust. I’m not saying that every person you meet deserve your trust, but try these 3: see the best in people, lower your expectation, and built your trust overtime. 1) Don’t make your past experiences as the only standard to judge people. If every girlfriend you’ve had betrayed you, it doesn’t mean ALL girls are cheaters. Probably you are the reason why they cheated on you. 2) People can make mistake because they aren’t perfect, and so you are. The more you expect, the worse you feel when things go wrong. 3) Trust is something to be earned. You don’t have to put the same level of trust in people, train yourself to measure it. Your experience with Mia shouldn’t make you skeptical to relationships, but wiser and more understanding to cope with it.
Thank you very much guys, you guys are so kind :') , I know it is a super-late reply but I've read every single replies. I don't speak Indonesian but I understands a little bit of Indonesian through reading. Seeing so many positiveness inside you guys really touching me and there are actually so much I want to say to you guys but I don't know how do I put this in words. I'm really grateful for your advises, I will always remember and practice it. Thanks to that, I've been doing well recently. I can't stop thanking you guys You guys are just amazing.
